A Playground for Authors Jason White and Michael Schutz-Ryan

Robin Williams and Updates

I’ve been busy again and haven’t posted in nearly a week. I hate it when this happens, but not all of it was from being busy. Last week, as I’m sure every human being on Earth has heard, Robin Williams committed suicide. Now, let me explain that I’m not nor ever was that big a Robin Williams fan, but I nonetheless had some mad respect for him and his standup comedic routines, especially his earlier ones.

But his death hit a nerve. Hit it hard. As a sufferer of diagnosed chronic depression I became more depressed than usual. Depression for me isn’t sadness. It’s more a feeling of despair, no hope, and the ability to stare at the wall for hours and be fine with it because sleep will eventually come and sleep is the ultimate release.

I wondered for a few days as to why Robin Williams death affected me so much, other than from the obvious – that he too suffered from mental illness and decided to leave us for whatever reasons. After sifting through the fog and coming up for air, I realized that it hurt, or brought me down, me because the actor/comedian was a stone, a statue, if you will, a pillar of positive energy within our culture. Of course, I never knew the man, and don’t pretend to, but I am aware of the demons he had, and that combined with all the positive energy he reflected back into the world just seemed downright fucking sad that he came to this decision. Judging from the police reports on how he did ended it, I feel that it was probably a rash decision. He was more than likely upset at something and had had enough. It was time for it all to end. And he pursued it until its grim end.

For such a light to fade in that way was more than upsetting. But in all honesty, I don’t blame the man. It’s every individual’s right to take their own life, which is my opinion, but only if they feel that there’s no other way out. If someone suffers from a terminal illness, I do no see why that person cannot decide to choose euthenasia rather than suffer incredible pain and suffering until the bitter end. I feel the same way about mental illness, so long as they’ve been suffering from it for years and have tried literally everything to heal it but nothing works. Let’s get something clear. I don’t feel that people afflicted with these predicaments should go off and kill themselves. I’m just saying that they should have the right legally to decide. If you think about it, we put down our pet dogs and cats once we know that they’ve got incurable cancer or kidney failure because it’s the “humane” thing to do, but when these diseases happen to a human, most feel that to choose suicide, or euthanasia,   is an abomination.

Personally, I would probably choose the latter, to suffer and fight until the bitter end. I’m sort of attached to life in that ridiculous sort of way. But I cannot say for certain.  We never know until we’re there.

Anyway. I’ve been silent because at first, Robin Williams death disturbed and hurt me. The second reason is because I did become insanely busy with taking care of my son and work and writing fiction. But! I have plans on keeping on trucking. Expect some more top 10 and top 5 lists soon, along with maybe some movie reviews.

Robin Williams

RIP Robin Williams!




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